by Charlie Miller
Pastor, Lima Baptist Temple, Lima, OH
Editor’s note – Charlie Miller is subbing this month for Charles Lyons who is taking a sabbatical.
On the flight back from the national meeting in Ft. Worth, I took some time to digest all of the challenges, charges, and commands I heard from the church planters and pastoral leaders. My head was full of quotes, ideas, and new names. My heart was heavy — sagging from the weight of knowing I was returning to a broken city that needs someone (really anyone) to “have compassion” on them and to “make a difference.”
En route, I overheard another conversation where a mother asked her son, “What part of ‘No’ do you not understand?” I smiled. I knew how that kid felt. He was smarter than me though — since he did not actually answer the question. After a chuckle to myself, I settled in. Then God spoke to me, “What part of ‘Go’ do you not understand?” I don’t mean to imply that I heard an audible voice, but I know with certainty that God was speaking to me.
My mind was drawn back to the Great Commission. “Go into the world and make disciples.” What part of “Go” did I not understand? I introspectively interrogated myself, “Am I going … and where do I ‘go’ when I am ‘going?’”
You see, I am a pastor, but is my flock limited to those who come within the confines of my fence? I am a church-builder, but am I building church buildings, or am I building the church? I am a leader, but am I leading people to reach out or merely holding meetings?
Am I actually going into the world to make disciples? Am I leaving the monastery, the books, and the controlled environment and going into the world? Am I a farmer in the field planting and harvesting, or am I in the barn convinced that the better part of the work is already done?
What part of “Go” do we not understand?
It is not as if I have not personally led anyone to Christ in the last year. In fact I have personally led three people to Christ this past year. But, what makes me uncomfortable is that they found me. I did not find them. They came into my church. Thank God for that — but I should go into the world.
So what do I do with this? God speaks vaguely to me most of the time … or so it seems. I have been praying, reading, and meditating (not like in yoga — just thinking while I walk). I just could not figure it out! I confess I became a little frustrated with God. “You speak to me on a crowded plane when I needed to sleep — yet, here I am wide awake and begging and you give no answer?” Does God ever do this to you?
I awoke this morning. I went through my usual ritual: breakfast, quiet time, Facebook. I had a friend request and two pending messages. I clicked and found a request from a student in our first student ministry. I accepted and went to his page to see how he was doing. I was very interested since this young man was extremely gifted in several areas. As I looked at his page I knew that his life was radically different from the way it was 12 years earlier.
I opened my messages and saw that one was from him. There was a long message from this young man. The last 12 years had included alcohol, drugs, illicit sex, jail, attempts on his life, and homosexuality. My heart was broken. I continued to read. He said he had reached out to me because he thought we were the only ones who loved him.
I wept as I read it. I weep now as I write about it. We messaged back and forth several times. I gave him my number so I could speak with him. So far he has not called. I love this young man, and I hope I have the opportunity to help him.
Later I was driving to get my girls from school — still thinking about my former student. I have a bit of a commute to the school, and it takes me through a neighborhood most people don’t want to live in. It is here that God speaks again to me, “You can’t help your friend right now — he’s too far away. But you can help these people.” While stopped at the light, I saw a teenager giving drugs to another teenager.
God forgive me for driving through a neighborhood without trying to reach it. God forgive me for stepping over the hurting without trying to help. God forgive me for not going into the world. My heart is terribly heavy now. There is a neighborhood across the street from my church that no one has reached. I will go into it. There is a neighborhood I drive through that no one has reached. I will reach it. I have no idea what that looks like right now. Are we talking campus extensions or church plants? I really don’t know, but I am not waiting for the whole plan. I am simply going to go. God will share the rest with me when I need to know. For now, I will just go.