Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5[1]
If there were ever a time when a culture needed a “theology for family,” it would be now. If there were ever a time when churches needed to rethink their spiritual formation strategies and turn their competencies toward the family, it is now. The culture is forcing its issues down humanity’s throat with an onslaught of persecution toward the Biblical definition of family, masked as “political correctness.” It is a well-designed plan of deception that seems to be working. So to battle the culture and make any significant headway for family, parents must go back to the beginning of family to get to the future of what family should be. In this regard Jeff Patterson writes:
As God created each new aspect of creation—light, land, sea, plants, stars, sun—He approved of His work as being good. But Genesis 2:18 reveals God’s first negative commentary: “It is not good…” The amazing thing about this statement is that God is in essence asserting that there is something besides even fellowship with Himself that is necessary for man’s well-being: It is relationship with other human beings. It is, in essence, family. It is belonging to one another. The necessity for relationship is not an effect of the fall. Relationship was part of a perfect world, family was part of a perfect world, marriage was part of a perfect world. And after its creation, God placed His most emphatically positive commentary: “It is very good” (Gen. 1:31).[2]
The single cell of society
A biblical definition of family is not found in one succinct sentence or paragraph in the Scriptures, although Ephesians 5:21–6:4 comes close. In fact, when looking for that definition, and they are present, one will find the supporting Scriptures scattered throughout the 31,000 plus verses in the entire Bible. They are there waiting to be mined, read, and studied. This article does not have the space to take the time to exhaust all definitions of family. Suffice it to say those definitions would include marriage, parenting, fatherhood, motherhood, singleness, launching the child as an arrow, and answering the question, “What does belonging in family really mean?”
In the above mentioned article by Jeff Patterson, he brings us past mere definitions and takes us to the heart of family when he writes:
By the family you are broken and by the family you will be healed. It is through family, through relationship, that we see Christ, see our own broken humanity, and are given the privilege of learning how to imperfectly love and be loved. It is in the vulnerability that family brings that we truly learn to know and be known. And though families, and relationships, are inarguably a mess, Scripture maintains, and we heartily agree, that they are indeed a mess worth making.[3]
The first institution formed by God in the Bible was the family. Click To TweetThe first institution formed by God in the Bible was the family. That makes it the foundation, the single cell of all other institutions that have followed. Other institutions, which include government and the church, are made up of this uniquely original institution. In the course of time, sadly, other institutions have used the original to build their own base for whatever they want to accomplish. In other words, the family has been wrongly subordinated for the good of those other institutions.
The human body does not look at the single cell that makes it possible to function and say to it, “Do whatever is necessary, Mr./Miss single cell, to stay healthy so that my body can stay healthy.” Instead the body eats properly, exercises often, and has periodic checkups for the health of the myriad and variety of the single cells to keep it healthy. Consequently, the body is in the support role of the cells. By keeping a watch on their health, the body insures its own. Indeed, in the same fashion, society should purposefully subordinate itself to be in the support role of the family (as defined in Scripture) for the sake of keeping itself healthy. To maintain this health, activity inside the single cell (family) is important — for instance, the wife praying specifically for her husband. She should pray particularly in the areas of his decision-making, his spiritual walk, and his personal health. Likewise the husband should hold his wife up with his prayers for her commitment to God, her priorities, and her faith. If arrows are to be launched, it requires the warriors, as mentioned in the Psalm 127 scripture, to be strong!
Warrior Parents
In the middle of the passage of Scripture at the beginning of this article is the phrase, “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” These words indicate that our children (arrows) are the offensive weapons given us by God for future health and safety from enemies. Any warrior who faces the enemy needs to know his weapons. He needs to know how to best utilize them for success and how best to take care of them. Perhaps there is no better example of how this starts than the prayer of Hannah and the prayer of Mary over their “yet to be born” children. It seems for them, prayer was the workroom, or might I say war room, where those arrows were honed and prepared for what lay ahead. Theirs is the perfect example for warrior parents to follow.
Because viscerally we understand what Hannah and Mary were doing, we know it is right and should be practiced. But how to and what to pray perhaps remains illusive, so we reluctantly give up, and say an all-encompassing passing prayer to cover our bases. We want to be more specific… but we often aren’t.
I would like to suggest a way to hone the arrows in your quiver with the following prayers. There is no need to pray much about the past for there is no rewind button to take us back to change it. The greatest strategy is to pray for their future — those people and situations that will eventually come into their lives and make them who you pray they will become. I suggest you pray an ongoing prayer for…
- Your child and His/Her Friends: Pray that the friends they choose will be a good influence to their future.
- Your child and His/Her God: Pray that they too would be a person of prayer. It is a must for fellowship with God.
- Your child in the World, but Not of the World: Pray that they will reflect God’s light to the world, and not allow it to be hidden by peer or cultural pressures.
- Your child and His/Her Ministry: Pray that God will call them to do something particular for Him — and that they will listen to His voice.
- Your child and His/Her Spouse: Pray they will find a committed Christian, who will be key to one another’s successes.
- Your child and His/Her Family: Pray for them as a future father or mother, that they will wear lots of different hats proudly, willingly, and sacrificially.
The church is full of warriors whose hands are holding arrows readying to be placed on the bowstring and launched toward significant targets. The targets are represented by the evident needs of the culture where spiritual darkness lies. The warriors (parents) constitute a sizeable throng of participants useful in spiritual warfare taking place in their communities on a daily basis. These warriors assemble in the local churches in every town and village in the United States. A beautiful fact about these gathered warriors is that they emerge weekly from every segment of the culture to worship together. If they can be trained and organized, then every area of society can be affected by their contributions, and targets can be identified in every segment of society.
The church is full of warriors whose hands are holding arrows readying to be placed on the bowstring and launched toward significant targets. Click To TweetIt is my assertion that since individual families make up the whole of the society, then it makes sense that they should be organized, taught, trained, and prayed for in order to make the best use of the arrows they hold in their quivers!
Like all armies, if the troops are not organized and resourced then their power is limited and even threatened with destruction. One can never enter a war without resources. One can never win a war without a solid strategic plan – a plan that lays out what you want the outcome to look like. As a parent you must not be totally enamored with the infant that is in your arms. You must pray! You must see through those prayers what you hope the ending to be when they reach the end of their lives.
[1]NKJV
[2]Jeff Patterson, “A Biblical Theology of Family: A Mess Worth Making, “Family Issues (December, 2008), http://www.karipatterson.com/2008/12/02/a-biblical-theology-of-family-a-mess-worth-making/
[3]Jeff Patterson, “A Biblical Theology of Family: A Mess Worth Making, “Family Issues (December, 2008), http://www.karipatterson.com/2008/12/02/a-biblical-theology-of-family-a-mess-worth-making/
