Branson, MO – The Missouri Baptist Bible Fellowship hosted the Resilient Couples Retreat in Branson, Missouri, on Monday, February 17, 2025. The event brought together more than 70 pastors and their wives from Missouri, Arkansas, and Kansas for a time of fellowship, encouragement, and biblical teaching.
Bruce Garner, pastor of CrossPointe Church in Huntington Beach, California, led three impactful sessions designed to help ministry couples stay resilient and effective. His first two sessions emphasized the importance of finding identity in Christ rather than in ministry work and cultivating forgiveness in marriage. The final session tackled the practical challenge of hypervigilance, encouraging pastors to create a home environment that serves as a place of rest and renewal. The biblical principles and practical insights were warmly received by attendees.
For those who arrived early, the retreat kicked off with a Sunday evening meal at Paula Deen’s Restaurant on Branson Landing, providing additional time for connection and relaxation. The retreat’s simple structure and unhurried pace were intentionally designed to allow couples to rest, reflect, recharge, and spend time together. Some pastors brought their staff couples along as a way to invest in their ministry teams.
The Missouri BBF pastors have been intentional in cultivating a strong culture of brotherhood and encouragement among ministry leaders. Many newer pastors have begun attending the meetings, where they have been met with a warm and welcoming community. MOBBF Chairman Kevin Kolb expressed his excitement over the increasing participation and the growing sense of connection among pastors.
The next MOBBF meeting is scheduled for June 9 at High Street Church in Springfield, MO. For more details, visit MOBBF.org.
A Personal Reflection from an Attendee
I was thankful for the opportunity to attend the Resilient Couples Retreat and reflect on my marriage with my wife. There were several ways the Lord challenged me at the retreat. Here are a few:
First, I was soberly reminded of the high calling of marriage and its implications for both my walk with Christ and my effectiveness as a pastor. Managing my household well is a qualification for being an elder (1 Tim 3:4). If I do not lovingly and intentionally shepherd my wife, then I have no business being a pastor. Therefore, I am accountable to God for my marriage before I am accountable to God for my church. To neglect my family as a pastor would make me like a whitewashed tomb—beautiful on the outside (to my congregation and other pastors) but dead and unclean on the inside (to my family). This realization led me to ask myself several self-counsel questions during the sessions:
- How am I leading my wife?
- What is the state of my marriage?
- Would I hold up my marriage as an example to my flock (1 Peter 5:3)?
- Would I hold up how I am a husband and father as an example to my flock?
- Am I a better shepherd for my church than I am for my wife and kids?
- How would my wife answer these questions?
Second, I was convicted to make the most of my time at home. At times, I struggle with what the speaker called hypervigilance, and my response to it is not always righteous. I occasionally find myself home physically but not home mentally—my mind still preoccupied with a difficult counseling case from earlier that day, a dreaded conversation looming tomorrow, or replaying and reviewing a sermon in my head while preparing for the next one. The list goes on. And there are times when, after a long day of work, I would rather rest than engage with my family. In those moments, my family deserved better. God deserved better.
I was reminded that my work doesn’t stop when I leave the office—it begins when I walk through my front door and see my family in need of a loving and attentive leader. I must die to self and remember that it is better to serve than to be served. If Jesus laid down His life for me, then I ought to lay down my life in all the small and ordinary ways for my family.
Third, I was comforted to know that the struggles I face as a pastor—placing my identity in ministry, hypervigilance, etc.—are common to man issues. It’s easy to look around and think, “Am I the only one who struggles in this area?” When I start believing that I’m the only one facing these pressures, they become unnecessarily intensified. As a result, it’s easier to become discouraged, isolate myself from help out of fear of what others might think, or even justify sin, thinking, “No one else has it as hard as me.”
Looking around and seeing other couples affirm the reality of these struggles—including the speaker—reminded me that my struggle is an ordinary one. God has seen these pressures a million times and has faithfully helped other pastors overcome them. Surely, He can sanctify me in these areas as well.
As I wrap up this reflection on the retreat, I know that realization does not equal change. It’s easier to think about the ways I was challenged than to live in light of them. I assume the same is true for you.Brothers, may we be doers of the Word and not hearers only. Let’s strive to resiliently love our brides as we serve the Bride of Christ.
