by Keith Bassham
The weekend before we went to press, a man tried to assassinate an Arizona congresswoman and did manage to kill six people. Others were wounded in the attack, and the suspected shooter is said to have been disturbed, erratic, and radical in his politics. He was obviously angry. YouTube videos, blog postings, reports from acquaintances, and other bits and pieces of his life have come together to paint a picture of a troubled (and troubling) person with a very dark side.
I’m not minimizing or trivializing the apparent evil here.The Arizona shooter is an extreme example of emotions gone wild and few of us will ever experience this level of emotion. However, as a pastor and counselor, I have dealt with all kinds of people displaying all kinds of emotions, and a few I considered dangerous. My work and reading confirms many writers (and other artists) have troubled personal lives, and these troubles often provide the impetus for their creativity. Listen to their stories and you will see that they write (or paint, or sing) their autobiographies. Sometimes they will refer to their work as a way of “exorcising personal demons” or allowing a dark side to manifest itself.
I can understand that. I’ve written my share of hasty, sharply worded letters only to find that the act of writing the letter assuages my anger, and having vented privately, I destroyed the document. My dark side is thus revealed only to God and the shredder above the wastebasket.
I am a little more careful about using the “demon” terminology though. Like the old Flip Wilson character (“the devil made me do it”), I find it is easy to lay the blame on my “personal demons,” whatever that phrase means, rather than to take personal responsibility for undisciplined behavior.
Don’t get me wrong here. I believe in demons. Satan is real. Spiritual warfare is a biblical concept. I just don’t believe we can lay all the blame for our personal problems on satanic influences. One Christian writer has said, “The key to supernatural protection in the invisible war is not found in exorcising demons, but in exercising spiritual disciplines.” And although your own dark side may not call you to bear arms, it is important that we handle all emotions, especially the negative ones, God’s way.
Self-discipline key to controlling the dark side
The book of Proverbs speaks often of the heart, usually as a term for the inner person. One teacher of Proverbs writes, “The control of the inner man is the secret to a righteous life. Free-spirited, spontaneous living is irresponsible and destructive.” Two Proverbs passages speak of this self-discipline as ruling over one’s spirit:
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city (16:32).
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls (25:28).
Charles Bridges, the Puritan commentator on the Proverbs, wrote this graphic charge when dealing with the former passage:
A great conflict and a glorious victory are here set out; a conflict not in notion, but in action…The heart is the field of battle. All its evil and powerful passions are deadly foes. They must be met and triumphed over in the strength of God.
…The taking of a city is child’s play, compared with this “wrestling with flesh and blood.” That is only the battle of the day. This, the weary, unceasing conflict of a life. There, the enemy might be mastered with a single blow. Here, he is to be chained up, and kept down with unremitting perseverance. …Often does the Christian soldier win the day, even when he has been wounded in the fight. Yet think not the war is ended, because a battle is won. No quarter can be given, no truce allowed on either side. The enemy may have been stabbed at the heart; yet will he get up and renew the fight (A Commentary on Proverbs).
Beyond the matter of general self-discipline and control, the Proverbs also take up these dark-side behaviors for more specific instruction.
Anger
Going back to the passage in 16:32, we learn that one element of ruling one’s spirit (self-discipline) is learning to be “slow to anger.” Note that the passage does not praise a lack of anger, but it does counsel being slow to anger.
Anger is an emotion given by God. Jay Adams writes, “Our emotional makeup is totally from God. All emotions, however, can become destructive when we fail to express them in harmony with biblical limitations and structures.”
Therefore the Proverbs do not instruct us that anger is bad, or that we should avoid anger. Just as there is no condemnation in the Bible for possessing a sin nature (that’s the human experience), but there is condemnation for obeying it, the Proverbs teach us that we can use anger rightly, and that we control anger. Let’s see how this actually works out.
First of all, as Proverbs 16:32 and 25:28 show, a person who has no control over anger has no self-control. “He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly” (14:17) could be interpreted in two ways: the loss of temper is a foolish act, or the loss of temper leads to foolish actions. However one sees the passage, the result is the same. A person who does not control anger is acting like a fool. Proverbs 14:29, “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly,” tells the same story.
On the other side of the equation, Proverbs 19:11 tells us that a person slow to anger has discretion, or insight, one of the “wisdom words” used often in the Proverbs. The one who controls his anger is better than a military hero (16:32). Again, we turn to Charles Bridges’ comments on the text, where he describes “the angry fighter:”
Instead of being slow to anger, under provocation, they think that they “do well to be angry” (Jonah, iv. 9). It is a disgrace to put up with wrong. A hasty temper is an infirmity. They are hardly responsible for it. Nay, the indulgence is a relief, and they hope to cool down in time, utterly unconscious of any sin against God. Thus, instead of having rule over their spirit, they are captives, not conquerors.
Then, we are told not only to take control of ourselves, but to avoid those who do not. Otherwise we fall into a trap: “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (22:24-25). Evidently the quick temper can be contagious.
Finally, we should learn that when we sin by losing control of our anger, other problems follow: “An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression” (29:22). If we act sinfully in the heat of the moment, or if we allow anger to rule our lives, more sin is sure to follow, “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God” (James 1:20).
Strife
Uncontrolled anger has a sibling called strife or contention — “A wrathful man stirreth up strife” (15:18). We have already read that an angry person will stir things up. The trouble with strife is that, like anger, a little can lead to a lot, or as one has said, it goes from “trickles to torrents” — “The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with” (17:14).
Take a look at this triad from Proverbs 16:27-29:
An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire.
A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.
A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good.
Note the parallels: the ungodly man, the froward man, and the violent man, probably all the same person. The term “froward” comes from a Hebrew word meaning turn, or to turn away, in this case, someone turned away from the normal state. Some translations use the term “perverse.” One commentator says the meaning is “a man upside down.” Another uses “crooked” or “twisted.” Whatever the rendering, there’s nothing good here.
Two other things should be noted in these verses. Notice the connection of lips and burning fire, in verse 27, with strife. And mark a tragic result of strife — it separates good friends. How many times have you experienced misunderstanding or even the loss of a friend because of the twisted facts spread by a contentious whisperer? Trying to rebuild the relationship is so difficult — “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle” (18:19).
How do we deal with strife? Starve it to death. We do this by controlling our anger (“he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife” — 15:18), or by just refusing to participate:
Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth. As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife (26:20-21).
Countering the dark side
We could add a number of other negative emotions and actions to the list of dark-side behaviors visited in the Proverbs. For instance, we read of fear: “Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken” (3:25-26), and envy: “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones” (14:30). The bottom line is there are many trap doors and pitfalls ready made for those who wish not to choose the way of God’s wisdom.
While preparing for this article, I came across a website with an interesting take on the biblical data on negative emotions, especially when it came to dealing with anger. The author cited several Bible characters and noted, at least from his perspective, that although the Bible condemned the wrong use of anger (while occasionally lifting up the One who defeated anger), it almost never showed how to deal with anger in a healthy manner. While I do agree that there are few if any propositional passages with the message, “When something makes you mad, here is the first step you take; and here is the second step, etc.,” the Bible is far from silent. In fact, the nature of the Word is such (and this is especially true in the Proverbs) that we are invited to observe and learn. Hot-heads almost universally come to a bad end (such as Cain, Nabal, or King Saul), while those who choose to remain calm and collected (such as Joseph, David, or Daniel) are vindicated and experience blessings in this life and the life to come.
Joseph, the son of Jacob, is the prototype for one who “ruled his spirit,” and Solomon might well have had this great character from Genesis in mind when he thought of a man who had learned the lessons of wisdom.
Who in the Bible had more cause for resentment and anger than Joseph? Think of it. Joseph, sold into slavery, slandered by his master’s wife, overlooked and forgotten by those he helped, and separated from his home and father for years — all because of the hatred and jealousy his brothers had for him.
Had Joseph been a “me-first” kind of person, he would have spent the years of his exile allowing his rage to boil and plotting revenge. Or he could become the proverbial “froward” man, perverse and intent upon upsetting the lives of all those around him. Somehow, he would have gotten even.
But what do we observe? He chooses to serve those around him, sharing his wisdom and abilities as he has opportunities. Finally, after a very long time, his brothers do appear. They have journeyed far from their land in Canaan in search of food in the court of Egypt where Joseph has been placed into a position of power. Joseph recognizes them, but they do not know him. What is his reaction and response?
Instead of lashing out in anger, Joseph saw himself (and his suffering) as part of a larger plan, and he responded accordingly. The good doctor in the aforementioned website would have us believe the Bible should have given us some advice such as “working out” our anger by hitting a pillow, or by processing the anger through visualization exercises. On the contrary, the Bible gives us a vivid picture of a man exercising self-control, living a long and healthy life with no trace of bitterness.
And that is the offer to those of us who reject the dark-side responses — a life of satisfaction. We who live in the West are just now learning what our counterparts in the East have known for centuries, and that is how interconnected the immaterial and material sides of ourselves are. They would call it a mind-body connection, but the Proverbs would prefer to call it a heart-body connection. Can a person think himself or herself well? Can spiritual decisions and actions make a difference in our health? Within limitations, the Proverbs say yes!
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones (3:7-8).
A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones (14:30).
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones (17:22).
Take these passages and thoughts with you into 2011.